Mid-September was my last drinking binder. I remember lying on the floor, just wearing shorts. Sweaty, dirty, smelly. I cocooned & drank for what seemed like a month; hadn't eaten for over a week, and thought I was dying. Part of me wanted to die, how could I let myself get to this state? I would talk to God, and myself, about all the reasons that I couldn't die. And thanking God for all the times He has already saved me and all that He has given me. But the biggest reason I couldn't die was my daughter, my first born; was going to have her first child, a little girl. That would make me a grandpa for the first time. I kept telling myself, "I can't go out, I have to be here for her, I have to be part of her life!" I kept clutching my Granddaughter's ultrasound photo, telling her that I will get back to my state of mind and I will be there for her. But, at that point, I needed a miracle.
A few days later there was a knock at my door, it was my Mom and my two brothers. They knew something was wrong and came to take me to the hospital, a miracle. I didn't think I was gonna last in that state much longer.
God was with me, again! God did not give up on me!
After the hospital, and then rehab, I was better and back home. And lucky enough to be back in time to be at the hospital when my Daughter gave birth to my Granddaughter. No words can describe the feelings I felt when I first saw her and touched her; it's like being in another dimension. She radiated so much light and love and new life, she is part of me. And I am coming back from the dead.
"Thank you for all you have given me, thank you for the gift of my little Peanut."
No comments:
Post a Comment